This post is also known as bedrest has become more complicated for me.

For the first few days of bed rest I was able to use the couch, but then I started having worse and worse digestion issues, as well as having my lupus and fibromyalgia flaring up, so I spent a couple of days in bed and pretty much constantly flat. Now I’m even ending up with indigestion and vomiting while there, and I’m limited on what I can take to deal with it due to the medication they have me on to stop the labor. On top of that, although we have managed to mostly stop the labor, I was having contractions two minutes apart earlier… I had a couple at two minutes apart (really strong ones), then one five minutes later (a bit weaker), then a fourth about 20 or 30 minutes later (thankfully MUCH weaker)…. this happened while I was laying on the couch, hardly moving, just resting and watching a tv show on Netflix.

I’m also (admittedly this is much less concerning than the contractions) frustrated by the limitations being stuck actually in bed are putting on me…. the most I can do with the laptop is type to Johnny (when he’s in a different room than me) that I need food or whatever (we have a messenger set up specifically for our computers), and to listen to audio books and do the occasional tweet or facebook status… beyond that I’m basically cut off because of having to be on my side when I’m in there… I’m too flat to be able to be on my back, so I end up hurting my joints just trying to do those few things…

Obviously the thing that matters most in all of this is getting Littlest as close to full term as possible, but even knowing the goal, it doesn’t help the fact I’ve got a ton of pain and health stuff going on, as well as the contractions and other preterm labor things. And traveling a little over an hour each way to my OB each week and having to be in a vehicle isn’t helpful with any of this either.

I’m thankful to be pregnant, I’m thankful to get to have my baby… but after all I went through to get here does it have to be so hard just to maintain the pregnancy? I’ve had medical interventions (medications, bedrest) on and off (more on than off) throughout the whole pregnancy, and it looks like the ones leading to this point were just the beginning. 😦

And now that I’ve finished eating a (plain) waffle to settle my stomach I’m going to go back to bed (I had to get up to get it, my stomach wasn’t allowing me to be in bed anymore)….

I’ve got to tell you, this bed rest… it’s an odd place to be.

I’ve been here before with this pregnancy, and know it’s not quite as odd if they just have you taking it easy as it is when they tell you your baby’s head is engaged and you are in very early labor (thankfully not affecting the cervix yet)….

Having Littlest’s head engaged has taken this all to a new level though. I mean… there is a head in my actual pelvis, pushing on my cervix, rectum and tailbone, and everything else around there. My milk came in… that was weird. My mucus plug started thinning as well, though thankfully it didn’t all come out at once… it was just definitely thinning and slowly coming out bit by bit.

The odd place to be though, is that I would love to have Littlest born now because I’m in a decent amount of pain due to bedrest and his/her location, and at the same time I’m hoping this lasts another 7 to 8 weeks. It’s so odd to have those thoughts and feelings wrestling in me. Of course the stronger hope is that we make it to full term, but there is that part of me that is really unsure how long I can physically handle how things are right now. I also realize Littlest will be here before I know it, but looking at it from where I’m at right now, it seems like it’s going to be forever….

Edit: Oh. .. I forgot to mention… other than the occasional contraction labor has halted, thanks to a combination of a medication (one I actually had in the house lol) and staying down most of the time. My milk has stopped leaking (though it is still there), and my mucus plug has stopped breaking apart. The only signs left of my PTL experience are the contractions when they show. Of course I’m still taking it easy to avoid it all starting up again, but the good news is that it is calm for now.

So…. Johnny and I had an appointment to go to this afternoon, and I (stupidly, but I know my freedom to drive is going to be restricted before too much longer even without bedrest, so I am driving as much as I can) drove us there. I was fine on the way there, I was fine in the waiting room beforehand, I was fine during the appointment, I started having some mild discomfort after while we were waiting to talk to the financial lady, so I left my contact into and a message for her and we got out of there. About… 1/3 or 1/2 of the way home I started having more and more pain. No discharge thankfully, but definite pains that were getting stronger… though they were still having all sorts of different timing in between, completely irregular in that way. So it was a mix of actual preterm labor signs and false labor signs. I ended up with 3 fingers on each hand numb from how I was clenching my hands, and I’m sure I made Johnny’s hand uncomfortable at the very least, as I was holding onto it with one hand. The good thing is once I got back home and got onto the couch (I’ve only gotten up to pee since, this is a few hours ago now) the bad cramps cleared up. Still having pain, but nothing major like I had been having, just some discomfort and really minor cramping.
Johnny and I were talking about this a bit ago and both agree it’s pretty likely I’m goign to be officially put on some type of bedrest pretty soon… which is not something I’m looking forward to yet, but I’m also not getting too upset about it at this point… well… trying not to anyway… there are definitely emotions there, but I’m trying to keep them in check for now.

Having false labor now at 20 weeks. So far no true labor signs, and am now spending my time on the couch (with lots of pillows and the laptop). Won’t be around much on twitter (and I’d just started getting more into it again too!), though I’ll be on other places when I’ve got the laptop on (facebook, blogfrog, not sure what else)… I just don’t like web based twitter, and so far haven’t found something I like that can be used on Linux to be able to run twitter outside the browser. I’ll also be checking my emails throughout the day, so you can reach me that way…. I’d love to keep in touch with people, and keep up with everyone. Also… definitely wanting company that much more since I’ll be in bed or on the couch pretty much constantly, which gets boring… though it’s worth it to keep Littlest “cooking” longer, it’s just boring lol. I’ll also be doing a lot of reading, thankfully I went to the library yesterday before all the cramping and other pains started.