One of my friends always tells me when I’ve got more than one illness flaring, or have a cold or whatever mixing with my chronic health issues that I need to stop multitasking…

Well today that’s especially true – sore throat, migraine that is giving me trouble with spelling (spell check is a beautiful thing) and getting the correct words out, and an intense wave of grief….. The grief is just sitting here with me, I can’t really cry or anything else… it’s just a deep grief sitting in my body, complicating my depression.

Today, while I’m not suicidal, I wouldn’t mind if someone else took me out…. I don’t want to be alive right now…. maybe I’ll take an anti anxiety med and knock myself back out… I don’t want to be right now….