So… there are a few reasons I handle my blog the way I do, and that names are done how they are. One is that I have an ex husband who was emotionally and sexually abusive… and there was a lot of manipulation, and it was just a huge mess. I played my part in making it a mess… but there are a lot of things that were done by him that never should have been. A lot of people didn’t believe me about how he treated me, until he stopped being so polite to them after he finished using and manipulating them when I left him. He played my family for …. I don’t know how long exactly, it ranges… but I know my dad’s eyes opened when I had to fly back to the state my ex lives in and my dad saw first hand how vindictive my ex was about everything. I’m not sure how long before that my dad’s eyes had been open, I just know that’s when he brought it all up to me. I still don’t think my mom sees it all, or rather, I think from things she’s said in the past that she still wants to believe D (my ex) was who he made himself out to be, but that’s a whole different story.
Basically what I came here to talk about is that I’m trying to figure out how to handle privacy on my blog. D has been known to mock my health issues, and say it’s all in my head, and that if I think myself better I’ll get better, even though he was around for both of the laparoscopies I’ve had so far, and seen the pictures and surgical reports. But even though it’s there, if my attitude is better, somehow I magically won’t be in pain anymore, and so on. And when he heard about the lupus he and his mom made their comments again! So I don’t want the stress of him coming to my blog and doing that crap. I don’t want the stress of him being around – and he’s vindictive enough to do it. I won’t approve any comments from him anyway, if he were stupid enough to comment, but I just don’t want to deal with it. At the same time though, I want to be able to be a face for all of the issues, and a name for them. Although there are weirdos (and due to that I wouldn’t pull my full name or location out there) I doubt I’m so likely to be stalked by someone due to the content of my blog. I’d like to be able to put more pictures up here…. like the one I have that shows my rash from my lupus, or pictures of M. I’d still likely do the name thing I do because I like that it’s different, and I like the way I’ve got names set up, but I want to be able to put myself out there more too! I’m really not sure how to handle this … and I’m not looking so much for advice as I’m looking to vent a bit… though advice is welcome. If you have thoughts, and you’d like to share them, feel free!

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