So I haven’t posted any “real” posts in awhile, as in they’ve been fun posts mainly, when I have posted anything. I’ve also been quiet online, I’ve played around on facebook, and chatted on and off with a couple of close friends, but more or less I’ve been quiet and not around a whole lot. Part of this is because a friend bought a collection of the entire Harry Potter series for me, and I’ve been reading them. The other reason isn’t as fun and is more serious. I’ve been having migraines. A bit before Christmas I cut my dose of my main lupus medication down so I was taking one pill a day rather than two. This has been discussed with my rheumatologist, and I do it when I don’t have enough pills to make it through to when we can afford my next prescription or when I have gone several days with little to no appetite and need to start eating more again. This time it was because my prescription at the pharmacy was going to expire while she was out of the office and before my insurance would cover another refill (yes, I finally have insurance!), and because the pharmacy won’t take another prescription for the same medication until after the previous one has expired. So I was going to be unable to fill my prescription at the time I was going to need the refill. The big issue is that when I cut my dose down I’m prone to headaches and migraines. I had been doing okay with my dose cut down (minor headaches, but nothing bad) so I kept it down like that hoping to keep eating and gaining weight back. Right after the first of the year I suddenly got hit with migraines, after having just minor headaches for over a week (I normally have migraines within a day or two of cutting my dose down), and I started back on my full dose of my lupus med. My migraines stayed for 3 or 4 days, then went back down to really bad headaches that weren’t quite migraines. Normally going back on my full dose gets rid of headaches entirely within 3 or 4 days. This time, I have continued to have head pain for pretty much the entire time since t he first migraine struck. I’ve had a few hours of no head pain, but otherwise I’ve got a constant headache, ranging from there just a little bit to full blown migraines. Even vicodin isn’t ridding me of the pain entirely. I’ve started back on alleve (I’d stopped taking it due to my digestive issues, and found it was part of the cause, though not the entire reason for all the issues) and take one every 12 hours or so. Even with both of those pain meds the headaches are there consistently, they just vary in severity. On Tuesday I noticed my left eye was red (again)… just about the entire white of my eye was blood red. This was not the first time I’d noticed this since the headaches started, but I hadn’t put them together until Tuesday. It took two days for my eye to go back to normal, and it is normal still today, it cleared up yesterday. Hopefully it will stay clear until I see my doctor next Tuesday, though I’m not sure it will. Sometimes it’s one eye (the left one this time) sometimes it’s the other, and sometimes both do it. I’ve noticed this over the past 15 months or so, but it’s usually a very rare occurrence, not one that happens 3 or 4 times in a 3 week period. I called my rheumatologist’s office on Tuesday and left a message about the headaches (before I noticed the eye thing), and didn’t get a response, then I called again Wednesday and mentioned the eye thing and they called back and told me they were calling in a prescription for pain meds for me, and that there was no big emergency, they could wait to see me until my appointment next Tuesday morning, but I CANNOT miss that appt, they have to see me. I’m glad, because I am not sure how much longer I can live with these headaches. They’ve had me in tears multiple times (which is how you can tell the pain is really bad, since not even having cysts burst puts me in tears anymore, and that’s some pretty major pain) and I actually was crying to E at one point that I wasn’t sure how much longer I could live with them. I’ve also had a couple of nights this week where I’ve been on the couch and all I can do is lay there and moan and cry and whine. I’m begging anyone who can possibly hear me (usually just M) to somehow put an end to this pain, because it literally feels like my head is exploding and imploding at the same time and my head is being torn apart. Even with vicodin and alleve. I’m taking vicodin often enough that I’m constantly woozy from it, and sleeping a lot. I take 1/2 pill every 3 to 4 hours… that’s a lot for me since normally I take 1/2 pill every 6 at my most frequent dosing… but the headaches start getting worse at that 3 hour mark. (Yes, I am still within the doctor’s prescribed dose taking them how I am.) I really hope she has some answers for me on Tuesday, because this is really wearing on me, and I’m not sure how much longer I can go. :(

Here’s a picture of my eye when I realized how it looked on Tuesday:

You can click on the picture to view it larger… the medium size doesn’t show just how red my eye was very well. I highly recommend doing so.